Advice
By Buck on Feb 4, 2010 in BlogTV
If you would like advice on the live show tonight at 10pm – enter here!
xoxo
42 Comments »
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i sent u a val-day gift in the mail so lookin ur po box 4 it!!!!!!!!!!!
love and lippy,
mkgtweety
Read mine start from the bottom
Hey Buck,
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m only asking you because I found out my friends hate me and I don’t want to talk to my parents. You, Shaycarl, and Sxephil are the only people to make me laugh. But I think I may be suffering from mild depression. I always want to cry and cut myself. In fact, I have. My arms are covered all the time so no one can see them. Now I don’t want to tell my parents, because they don’t know. I need help, but I don’t want to go to a therapist, they don’t help. And to make it even worse, I fell head over heels for a boy who hates me. The only way I can express myself anymore is with poetry. And my mom found my poetry. Now, that doesn’t sound bad, but here is one of my poems.
White wrists painted red,
Lying motionless on her bed,
She couldn’t hide it any longer.
She wishes she was stronger.
Looking in the mirror I see,
That same girl; She is me.
I don’t think I can get up off the floor.
I can’t do this anymore.
Writing always helps the pain,
Cutting was actually keeping her sane.
Her friends worried, but never said a word.
They couldn’t see through the lies she conjured.
That one boy, could break her so easily.
That one girl, the girl who is me.
She needs to be saved,
Before it’s too late.
Look under her sleeves,
Gape at the secret she want’s no one to see.
The lines on her pale wrists, all puffy and red,
All the pain she only bled.
Help her, she’s dying inside.
All because she’d rather lie.
She doesn’t want to worry anyone,
But all the pain; It’s poison.
Please Help Me Buck!
Signed,
Maddi (I’m 12yrs old by the way)
Buck isn’t a professional, and can’t help you with this problem. You need to help yourself in whatever way you can, even if that means letting your mom find your poetry, and getting you to a professional. I hope things get better. <3
Hey Victoria, thanks for raining on Maddi’s opening up. How do you know he is not? Do you have his educational credentials in your back pocket? For all you know he could be a licensed counselor who changed careers.
Maybe for HER, Buck’s advice is what she wants, as she sought it out. Maybe he too, would advise her to seek professional help.
But clearly you have no idea what you are talking about..
Her mom DID find the poetry. So what is up with “even if that means letting your mom find your poetry”?
And the Bootstrap mentality is not what a 12 yr old needs.
Wow, okay. I was just trying to help her. I’ve been in her position before. And I know Buck isn’t a professional because I’ve been watching his live shows for a long time now, and he’s said it multiple times during Advice. I know she wants Buck’s advice, but that’s not what she needs to really help herself. I know this from experience. And by “even if that means letting your mom find your poetry,” I meant that she shouldn’t freak out about it, and just accept it, and get help.
By the way, Buck read my reply during that live show and agreed with all my points.
I was only trying to help this girl. I don’t know why you’re so upset about it.
Hey Maddi,
My name is Alicia and I have been exactly where you are. I started cutting myself when I was 13 and did for 7 years. I hid it from my family thinking that they would be upset if they found out, but just the opposite happened. They told me they loved me and wanted to help me, no matter what that help was.
You may think therapy doesn’t help, but it does. It really really does! Trust me on this. And getting help is the only way you’ll ever get better. PLEASE, for you own health and safety, talk to your parents. Or a school counselor. They aren’t going to think your crazy, or weird, or a bad person.
If you ever need to talk or vent or need any more advice, go ahead and email me (ciarox06@gmail.com).
Boy, was I you at 12.
The guys I liked ALWAYS liked my sisters. So I went pretty much dateless all through school, but I was the tall girl. Great as an adult, totally sucking as a kid. But then it turned around, they had boyfriends dumping them, treating them like garbage. And I got guys that treated me very well. Go figure. Think of karma. What you send out comes back to you.
I never cut.. whats the point but to give you scars reminding you of pain when one day it will all go away. But boy did I cry.
Also no guy will want to date a girl who has cut marks.. They will think “baggage”, and that you are too much trouble. Sometimes the best way to get a guy you like to like you, who you “think” hates you, is to act like they do not matter. Drives them nuts. Also, you will find that wait, you DONT need or like this guy after all!
I found out lots who acted like they hated me, really did not. And really, if your friends supposedly hate you.. ask yourself why?
Write a list. Did you do something? Say something you forgot about?
At 13, I had a friend who got jealous of my becoming more popular in our group of friends, so she made up lies about me. Saying I said mean things about so and so. She confessed on the bus when I broke down crying to her not understanding why everyone hated me.
So investigate yourself, and your friends. Girls are mean, and guys believe what they say.
My daughter is 17 and went through similar, and its very possible its hormonal. I would see about getting to a school counselor to start there. And do talk to parents, they do want to help usually in the end.
My daughter did drawing, you do poetry.. keep it up..
Hey Buck!
I am a 19 year old female college student right now, and for my entire life I have always known that I was straight and that there was probably zero chance for me to ever even consider being with another girl, since the thought has always grossed me out. Recently though, after classes started back up, I was put in a lab group with a few other girls, one of whom is a lesbian and has been trying to flirt with me continuously. The problem is, is that I think I may be a little attracted to her, even though I have a boyfriend, and even though I never thought of a girl in that way before. I was wondering if you thought that this might make me bi, a lesbian, or whatever, or if you think that this may be normal for college students to think about, or experiment with, even if it doesn’t change their sexual orientation. Thanks Buck!
Hanna
There is a great book about how women aren’t just gay or straight it’s called ‘Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire’ by Lisa M. Diamond, that might help you understand you feelings better. Hope it helps.
Hi Buck;
First off, I’d absolutely love to say that I love your shows (both youtube and BlogTv) and you always put a smile on my face everyday! But, I have some advice. My ultimate dream is to move to Nashville, TN after I graduate high school and pursue a hopeful career in music. I write my own songs, I sing and I play acoustic, electric and bass guitar. I am teaching myself to play the keyboard. The problem is, I just cannot seem to get out of my shell and sing/perform in front of my parents, friends, etc. Singing is a very personal thing to me but if I want to be successful, I need to show the world my talent. I am not quite sure what’s holding me back. I’m shy in some cases but socially I’m very outgoing. I stay away from all the pressures of a teenager (i.e. alcohol, drugs) because I know if you follow the crowd that way, it’s one step back from your dreams. Getting back on topic, is there absolutely any advice you’re willing to give me about coming out of my shell and building more confidence in singing in front of people? Thank you so much, Buck!
- Lauren
Ontario, Canada
Sorry, “I need some advice” is what I meant to say!
Lauren
Hi buck! I love you!
I have a problem with comparing myself a lot to others. I just don’t feel good at anything sometimes.
I’d love your advice!
Thank you!
Samantha (14 years old)
Hey Buck! I’ve been really depressed lately, and I’m not even sure why. A lot of little things have been really getting to me, to the point where I just want to skip school, and catch a train to NYC. I’m taking it out on a lot of people around me, especially my boyfriend, and I feel horrible about it. Do you have any advice on how I can get myself in a better frame of mind so that I stop freaking out over everything, and lashing out at people? Thanks, you’re the best. <3
Hey buck,
I love your show, and you! Im sure youve probably heard this type of question a thousand times, but Im gay. Whats the best way to “come out”? My parents are major religious and consider being gay wrong so i dont know how to tell them.
Thanks for your time, and for making me laugh all the time
Buck,
I need your help. I have a HUGE crush on this guy… And I’m not sure how to get his attention because its just me and, like, half the girls (and most of the gay guys) that have crushes on him. Yeah, he’s super popular. Any advice?
xoCatlin
Hi buck its arianna and taylor!!
we were wondering if you could give a shout out to:
Arianna
Taylor
Morgan
& Katherine
PLEASSEEE!!!! and please warn us before you do a shout out to us so we can record!!
maybe say arianna after this next advice ill give you a shout out!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE we have never been shouted out to and it would make our lives…. 
shout out to arianna morgan taylor and katherine?!
PLEASE!
Hey Buck,
I’ve recently had to come over a series of people disappearing from my life. November, my uncle passed away from a sudden heart attack; in December, my beloved dog, Snowball, went missing; in January 23, 2010, my grandmother passed away from cancer. I was unable to attend any of their funerals, and that’s the worst part. They live in Korea, while I’m in America. I can’t go to Korea because of Visa problems.
I’ll cut right into the point.
I’ve been feeling very depressed lately. More than usual. I throw up every day, and apparently the cause is stress and depression. I lack motivation ins school; I’m in the International Baccalaureate program.
Do you have any advice on how to deal with death?
It’s never happened to me before, and I just don’t know what to do.
Thanks buck,
CaitJS
Hey Buck
There is this girl who I Kind of like a bit. The thing is I only see when we are are at pub night at school,since we’re in different programs. We are in college btw. Anyways I don’t how she feels about me because sometimes she seems like she is into me and then other times like she has no interest all in the same night. I really want to know though what I should do, should I just ask her what her deal is or what.
Any help will be much appreciated.
Thanks Denzel
Hey Buck, I’ve been a lesbian for two years, and I’m out of the closet in college. Over Christmas I decided to come out to my family. Well, my parents reaction…. WHAT!? They kicked me out of the house the next day. They don’t even want me to talk to my younger sister anymore. Haha, when I got back it wasn’t any better. As soon as I walked into my room I saw my girlfriend of a year was in bed with another person… A guy to be exact. Yeah so forgetting my girlfriend lets move onto my family. How do I get them to accept who I am? If you could help I’d appreciate it a ton. Love, Samantha.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=321717314615#/group.php?gid=321717314615
Check out my lil cousins group pretty please! It’s really perverted!
Oh I forgot to say, make sure you check the info.
I just don’t know what to do, my mom is like dating this jerk who doesn’t respect her and I tell her that he’s not good for her, I just wish she would listen. Bust she doesn’t I wish I could tell her something that she would understand, I just don’t know what to do, he like does drugs and gets my mom to do them too, and she doesn’t seem to realize that they are bad. what should I do?
Sincerely,
Joah Layne
Dear Michael,
I haven’t been feeling as happy as I used to be. I am 13 yeas old and in the 8th grade. All of my friends are in serious relationships and I have never been in one. I am very happy for all of my friends. It’s just that they will always text and be affectionate, and I can’t help but almost feeling..dare I say…jealous.? I want to experience that type of thing. Liking someone and them liking you back, only more than a friend. I feel like I can’t make up my mind. Sometimes I think that I want a relationship and I diserve one. (I am not trying to be conceited) I am nice to everybody and not the least bit nasty. And I think I look decently pretty, but I have self conscious issues. I am happy with who I am and with my life. Sometimes I think, I am happy all the time, ‘why do I need a boyfriend?’. I feel like I can’t make up my mind. I think I’m just confused. Can you help tell me how to feel better about myself or just reassure me that I don’t need to have a boyfriend at this age? Thank you for taking your time to read this and or help me.
A Devoted Fan,
Giuliana
Hey Giuliana,
I am 24 and in college now, but I remember being in the 8th grade and all of those unsure feelings you have. I just thought I’d say that I think it’s fine that you wait to have a boyfriend. What’s the point of having a boyfriend just to have one? Relationships are things that happen when you meet someone you really really like, and that just hasn’t happened for you yet. (Which is totally normal)
Hugs,
Emily (also a devoted fan)
I am 14 and I am in 9th grade….. There is this kid who is constantly talking shit….. Calling me bitch and stuff like that. I ignore him and I cant fight him because I will get suspended. What should I do?
I have a problem. I love a girl, but she doesn’t love me back. That’s the backstory. The real problem is that I don’t care that she’s seeing somebody else, and is seriously considering going farther, but part of me does. I don’t know what to do? Do I let her do whatever she wants with him? Do I persuade her to not do anything with him, but stay with him? Do I make her break up with him? Or something totally different?
Hi Buck!!!!!!!!!!!!
My name is Kiara and im a sophmore at college. i have one friend i have known since highschool and shes a good friend but she drives me nuts sometime like shes one of those friends who is the mother hen of the group. shes always asking does everyone have everything, go to the bathroom before we leave. and im like i already have a mother and i am 19 i think i know when to pee. i know she means well but she drives me insane like so insane that i just dont want to have her as my friend anymore, but i know how mean that is and i dont want to but i feel like im not getting invited to places because no one likes her and shes such a drag. it like that episode of will and grace where they ditch rob and ellen to go out with the cool people to elvis costello…you know what im talking about? like i wouldnt want to invite her places either if i just met her. now things are getting really dodgy because housing deposits are due pretty soon and she wants to room with me and my two friends but thier making the excuse that our other friend wont have any other place to dorm unless she rooms with them which is a lie but i get it like i know if they didnt think we were such great friends i would be dorming with them but they dont want her to feel bad so i cant room with them it is so stupid and such a girl thing i cant stand it but seeing as how im a girl i kinda cant avoid these girl situations and not mike the situation cause i wouldnt avoid that if you paid me. so like idk what do you think? am i being a total bitch? i feel like i am.
Hey Buck. So, it just came to my attention that my homosexuality is only known to a select group of people. I’m out on the internet and most of my really close friends know. How should I react to those who find out that I’m gay by searching my name on YouTube. If you search me, most of my vlogs will come up. My 5AG audition video was very good, and I got a lot of feedback from it. But one of my friends from school found my video and told me they can’t believe I’m gay. What should I tell them?
Love you,
xoxo
AJ
hey buck!
ok, so for the past year or so, i’ve been debating the healthiness gossip and talking about people. i’m a very opinionated person, and i often joke about people like you do on your show. the only problem is, i’m afraid i’m going to be perceived as a bitch and i don’t know if i’m being a nice person if i gossip.
please tell me what your opinion on gossip is and what you think about it. thanks SO much
I’m in love with my best friend she’s a girl and I’m a girl. She is incredibly nice and amazing about it (I told her how I feel because i’m a moron)
but I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. I’m 16 years old and I know I’m in love with her, I have no fucking clue what to fucking do!!!!!! This is literally killing me,and I have panic attacks constantly and I can’t talk to ANYONE ABOUT THIS. no one knows what to do or say and I feel so alone and I seriously just want to die and
…this sucks ass.
Thank you for the post
Hi buck!! i love you.
I have a problem with comparing myself to other people all the time. I just never feel good enough about myself. Do you have any advice to stop comparing myself?
Thanks sooo much!
Samantha A.
hi buck i have a complicayed relationship question. i am a gay highschool freshman and have an ftm (biogirl identifys as male) friend who keeps asking me out and i dont know how to respond to him. im afraid to just say know to him because he’s suicidal and clinicaly depressed and i dont want to push him over the edge. please help
Hey Buck, you wonderful man
I picked up a denim vest from american eagle and was thinking of wearing it over graphic tees. Do you think that would look too butch? It’s kinda heavy and a light wash. Please help! Much love for you!
Also, Kathy Griffin must be a topic at some point!
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